simple.

I don't have much to say except that, you should check out this blog.

Absolutely awesome.

http://jonesdesigncompany.com/

realization.

At 21 years old, I pretty much think I am indestructible. I drive too fast, drink too much and take life for granted.

Two days ago I experienced something that will never, ever make me do that again. As I was sitting on the Metra home, the train came to a stop in the middle of the tracks. I complained that I might be home ten minutes later than usual.

I watched other people in the train make jokes, uncomfortably shift in their seats and complain, just as I had been doing. The conductor came on and announced the train in front of us had gotten into a wreck at a crosswalk. People complained more and more...this went on for 30 more minutes.

Later on, the conductor announced the wreck involved a fatality. Immediately, my stomach dropped. Whoever that was, was someones loved one, someones best friend, someones child. I sat quietly in my seat and waited. When we began moving, I starred out the window. What I saw next, no one should ever, ever see. A lifeless body lay on the ground with a sheet covering it. It turns out this fatality was planned. This individual wanted to end their life. I can't get the picture out of my head and this will forever change me.

Don't take life for granted. No one is indestructible. Life is a blessing.

learning process.

Okay. After my small rant, I want to share what I have actually learned, observed and experienced from the past month of living in the city.

1. Big cities are not for me. Many people love them, but they're just not for me. I am a small town girl at heart. I am thankful that I came to Chicago and learned what I do not want.

2. Chicago style hot dogs are good, except you can't taste the hot dog...

3. The South really is a friendlier place. There have been countless times when I have said good morning or smiled at someone in Chicago and did not receive a  response. People are constantly in a hurry and they will push and shove you to get where they need to go. I will never again complain about how slow things in the South move.

4. The 5:52 Thursday Metra train has a party car.

5. It's acceptable to drink at work.

6. Traffic is real. And it will control your life. Not just two, three, or ten cars, people. Hundreds. Stopped. Honking. Standstill.

7. If you live anywhere in Illinois south of Chicago, you are from the south.

8. The homeless man with the kitten is the only one I give money to, well played, sir.

9. There is nowhere to go to escape civilization and go for a "country" drive. Seriously, I tried. You end up in another suburb.

10. Be thankful for where you came from. Ultimately that will stay with you. You will miss it and desire it more than you know.

chaos.

Needless to say, I haven't written lately, at all.

I miss it. And there have been so many times in the last month and a half where I have every intention of logging on and writing. Then life happens.

Let's talk about that. Life hasn't been as great as it could be lately. That is probably the understatement of the summer. In case you cared, here is why I have needed to write and have a major vent session.

1. I haven't actually had a summer. Remember my post about how much I was obsessed with summer? Yeah. I got three weeks of it.

2. Chicago, no. Without going on a rampage about how I loathe public transportation and big cities, I'll just stop at "no".

3. My internship...not what I thought it would be. Not good, not bad, just not what I thought. I am ready to go home. Ready to go back to school and ready to get on with my life.

4. My love live. Two words: in shambles.

taking risks.

Okay. Let's talk about taking risks. Not my thing, at all.

HOWEVER, desperate times call for desperate measures in which cases, risk is involved.

I am not a spontaneous person, never have been, doubt I ever will be. I am way to OCD to go on an unplanned shopping spree, much less an unplanned vacation.

There are two times I can remember being spontaneous. Once was freshman year in college when I attended one of the biggest party weekends in college history at Southern Illinois University and the second was yesterday.

Neither time have I been disappointed.

So, even if you are as OCD and "live by your planner" as me, it pays off to occasionally take risks.

bad days.

I feel like I've been having a lot of these lately. I haven't posted because I haven't been happy.

I write when I'm sad. Always have. I just haven't written on here because I've been too sad to even write.

Regardless, sometimes everyone needs this reminder..

"Just because you have a bad day doesn't mean you have a bad life"

summer.

Ahhhh, summer. As I've grown "older", I've learned to appreciate each summer I have at home more and more. When you're little I think it's so easy to take summer for granted.

But then you grow up and you have to start working in the summers...and suddenly those days you spent running around the neighborhood with a popsicle stained face are over.

That was me last summer. I took summer for granted.

Now, here I sit at home for a short 3 weeks before I go to my internship in Chicago. My last summer at home. I am not doing well with that.

Summer is so unique in so many ways. People are happier. The smell of grilling fills the air and cut-off jean shorts are necessary.

I could go on and on about summer and how amazing it is but I'll leave you with a list that you should do at least ONE summer in your life.

1. Fall in love. Summer is the absolute best and easiest time to fall in love. Don't ask me why, but having a summer love is probably my favorite thing, ever.
2. Stay out late with high school friends. Soon, everyone will get a grown up, real life job and then it's over--spend as much time as you can with them.
3. Spend 4th of July in a small town. Not only as you will soon learn am I absolutely obsessed with the 4th of July, but celebrating it in a small town is one of my favorite memories.
4. Try every kind of summer beer. I now drink Bud Light Lime year round...Summer Shandy is good, too.
5. Get a tan and take a bunch of pictures. Everyone looks better tan, right?
6. Go to a baseball game of any kind. This is definitely another one of my favorite memories.And if you hate baseball, refer to number 9. They sell beer.
7. Tie-Die a T-shirt. I'm 21 and I still do this. If you think I'm childish, refer to my post about not wanting to grow up.
8. Appreciate living at home. Seriously, real life isn't as fun and it's super boring. Enjoy mom's home cooked meals and Dad yelling at you for getting home at 2 a.m.
9. Play golf. Now, before you say it's boring, you hate it, or you aren't good...They sell beer there.
10. Swing on a playground. But really. It's one of my favorite things to do and it's a proven stress reliever.

funny how things work out (or don't).

Loss is a funny thing. And to be cliche, you don't really know what you have until it's gone.

This past weekend one of my very dear friends lost one of her very dear friends suddenly. He was young, my age actually. She had recently talked to him about how they would spend time together soon.

When I found out, I didn't know what to say to her. And for those of you that know me, it is rare that I have nothing to say. All I could do was hug her and tell her everything would be alright.

Recently, another one of my friends found out he would be deployed, yet again. I don't know when I will see him next as I will have graduated by the time he gets to come back.

In short, appreciate what you have, when you have it. You never know when you could lose someone you love.

So, tell the ones you love that you love them. Tell them every day. Spend time with them, make it count.

for the love of sharing.

The amount of blogs/new websites I read a day is embarrassing. Well, to the people who don't understand me it's embarrassing. To the people who know me well, you won't even be surprised.

Anyway.

Here is what I have been reading lately and I definitely suggest you do as well:

Kate Conner-Lily Pads -hands down the most refreshing blog, ever. Kate is hilarious, southern and a mom, three of my favorite things.

Raising Redheads-I stumbled upon this blog via a friend of a friend. VERY enlightening and definitely makes you appreciate what you have. This little girl is precious.

PRDaily-and the PR nerd comes out. But really. This website has TONS of interesting articles on social media trends, interviewing, etc. I'm a journalism nerd, it's fine.

Just flat out hilarious.-not deep, enlightening or professionally written. But hilarious. Check it everyday. You will die.

one of those moments.

The past year has been interesting to say the least.

I've experienced love that has come and gone along with some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. I've experienced an interview process so intense I thought I'd never get through it. And then I experienced the high of getting that internship that I worked so hard to get. I've experienced heartbreak. And I experienced that unique feeling when you fall in love with someone else. I experienced losing someone who was close to me and the grief that goes along with that. I experienced new friendships and rekindling of old ones. Bottom line, I experienced.

All in one year.

Thinking about everything that has happened, one of my favorite experiences happened the other night. I cried because I was happy. I was happy that things finally panned out the way I have been waiting them to pan out. I was relieved that I didn't have to wonder anymore. I was happy.

I guess all I am saying is, experience is an interesting thing. Let yourself experience different feelings, emotions and paths in life. Let yourself experience. Because when you do, you will remember it as one of those moments.

growing up (part 1.5)

I remember seeing this quote my freshman year in college. And I distinctly remember sitting in my dorm room, writing it down on a note card and taping it to my wall.

"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time but you will remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does."

This could not ring more true. When I read this freshman year, I didn't comprehend how fast four years would go by. When I read this now, it is absolutely bittersweet. I have one year left here. One year to waste time with my friends. One year to fully enjoy college, enjoy being young, enjoy the freedom. One year.

So, to my little sister and all the incoming college freshman, enjoy it. Take that quote to heart. Make great friends. Stay out late. Enjoy the four years.

quotes.

I am a quote FREAK. I spend much of my time (when I should be doing homework, laundry and cleaning) looking up the perfect quote. The perfect song lyrics. The perfect inspiration. It's like therapy to me. For some reason someone else's words seem a lot better than my own.

But then I started thinking, why don't I listen to myself? Why don't I listen to my own quotes? I hand out advice left and right to struggling friends, why can't I take my own advice?  These are all rhetorical questions, I suppose.

So, being the quote freak I am, I wanted to share some of my absolute favorites (for the time being). Each of these have helped me in some small way right when I needed it.

Enjoy.

growing up (part I of many)

The title of this post is laughable, at least for me it is. I am 21 years old. I look every bit of 21, I act every bit of 21 (or at least I like to think so) however, I think like a 10 year old.

I still find joy (probably too much) in swinging on swings at the park for HOURS with my best friend. I still love drawing with chalk and yes, my mom still buys me a box of it every spring. I still think it's absolutely acceptable to paint my nails blue. I'll always love these things.

However, I have to realize I am growing up. I still find myself repeating the phrase "when I grow up..." I'm constantly finding excuses to stay in college. My most recent? Law school. Who in their right mind chooses to go to law school just so they can stay "young"?! That dream will probably be short lived, similar to "I'll get a tattoo" idea...

My first big realization of "growing up" came when I found out I got my dream internship in Chicago. This summer, I will be moving to Chicago for a short eight weeks to work at an amazing advertising agency. I am excited, don't get me wrong. But I am terrified. This will be the first summer where I can't be a kid, lay out and eat Popsicles all day and spend nights watching cars drive by at the Dairy Queen with my best friend.

Maybe I am freaking out a little too much. Actually, I'm notorious for freaking out too much. Regardless, I am growing up. And I am terrified.

six words.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs ever last week when I stumbled upon something that has really got me thinking.

Describe yourself in six words.

As easy as this may sound, it's not. I couldn't describe myself accurately in a novel, much less six words. 

However.

I tried and this is what I came up with.

Everyday equals struggle. Totally worth it.

funny how things work out.

After all the "eh" and a small pity party, it's time to pick yourself up.

So, I got an iPhone last weekend. I would lie if I said I wasn't a tad obsessed with it. I downloaded dozens of apps. I finally got the chance last night to play with those apps.

I stumbled upon my Bible app. And I'm really, really glad I did.

"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch"-Matthew 6:27

This is exactly what I needed yesterday. It's what I needed to finally be a rainbow in someone's cloud.

eh.

That's pretty much how I feel about my life right now. Eh.

Sad thing is, it shouldn't be "eh", it should be awesome.

I had a great interview with a great company that could in turn provide me with great opportunities.

Eh.

One thing is for sure, I have not in any way been a rainbow in someone's cloud. Actually lately, I feel like I've been the cloud.